Wednesday, February 28, 2007


I have checked out other blogs, and noticed that they have pictures and printing in various colors. Frugal as I am, I did purchase some colored markers and painstakingly colored the letters, and a few stick figures, since I am not an accomplished artist. To say the least, I was quite disappointed after I hit the publish button and found the same old results. I will keep experimenting until I get it right.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007


As I was standing next to the USS Constellation in Baltimore Harbor, I happened to reach into my jacket pocket, and behold I found several tea bag packages in there. Being a history buff, I decided to reenact an historical event as I threw the bags into the harbor. All that was missing was the massive crowds and burning torches.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard those dreaded words "you're under arrest". Turning I saw a police officer, who was all ready calling for the marine unit to retrieve the evidence from the bay. He was thinking that I had seen him approaching, and being in possession of a herb that is rolled into the shape of a cigarette, and then smoked, threw this herb into the harbor to avoid arrest.
I was trying to explain to him that all I did was reenact a famous tea party. Well being young and naive, this fool tried to tell me wrong town and wrong harbor.
To my delight the toxic waters of the bay dissolved any traces of those tea bags. No evidence, no arrest, not even for littering.
I forgave him as we parted, after all it was an honest mistake on HIS part.


You know who you are. Your the idiots that cause those long check in lines at the airport by searching for proper documentation instead of having it ready in your hand. You have been through this procedure before, since more time is wasted removing destination tags from your luggage, which should have been done at home or hotel. Your the same ones I see in stores searching for your wallet or check book only after everything has been rung up. Just to let you know, your doing a fantastic job of irritating me.


You would think that the starters gun went off for the 100 yard dash, as quickly as most people jump up and flood the aisle in an airplane. They do it in unison, as if they have practiced it for months. Let me speak slowly, you paid for a seat, not standing room, so use the seat until it's your turn to leave the plane.


Just a helpful hint for all the idiots at the airport. When at the baggage claim section, stand back from the conveyor. Give other people a chance to retrieve their luggage if it happens to come out first. Your items don't know or care about your exuberance in anticipation of its appearance. It's a random process, yours wont get there any more quickly, if your the first one there, and blocking others out.

Monday, February 26, 2007


Instead of having the "M" stamped on your forehead, the only way to let everyone know you are a Moron is by wearing a cell phone/headphone, as if it was a permanent part of your anatomy. So for all you oldsters, if your name isn't Flash Gordon or Buck Rodgers and for the teeny boppers if you are not working the drive up window at McDonald's, take it off when not using it.

Friday, February 23, 2007


I love McCallans single malt scotch whiskey. Whenever I finish a bottle, I feel no guilt about discarding the empty, unlike these new vodkas, rums, and tequilas.
The old, good quality liquor always seems to come in your typical bottle as well as label. You only pay for what's inside , and not the packaging.
Then the cocktail craze hit the yuppie genre. They weren't happy with the generic bottles and simple names. The savvy corporations were more then happy to please this segment, along with the outragous prices these simple minded souls would pay, to be satisfied.
The variety is mind boggling. One trying to out do the other; fighting for shelf space. The only thing in common is the high price.
If the product was that good they wouldn't have to dazzle with all the bullshit.

Thursday, February 22, 2007


Has there been a time in the history of mankind that a set of BOOBS have garnered so much attention. Thousands of lawyers and experts and a crying judge have put serious news on the back burner. It's not over yet as the story snowballs down the hill. I don't know what to laugh at more. The two silicone BOOBS, or the thousands of BOOBS covering this story for the so called news media.


Take a ride thru the classic old suburbs, with there unique and classical cozy homes. Each a piece of art, no two alike for blocks on end. Most of us would be thrilled, just to walk inside of them and feel what a real home should be like.
They are not the cookie press tracts they throw up these days. Even sober, one would have a hard time distinguishing one house from the other.
Then along come the overpaid yuppies, with their, my bling is bigger then your bling attitude and begin to tear down these homes. Some aren't happy with the destruction of one and go as far as two and even three homes. They build gargantuan monstrosities that stick out like sore thumbs along side these cottage like homes, destroying the serenity of these beautiful old neighborhoods.
I don't begrudge them their houses. But why destroy something, when there are plenty of areas where they could play their bling games with their ilk.
These are the same morons that protest the destruction of the environment, yet they are the biggest causes of it. The material that goes into the construction and just the heating and cooling of them.
So if you don't have urinary or bowel problems, do you really need six or more bathrooms. And if your not planning on playing indoor polo, do you need all that excessive square footage?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


What ever happened to courtesy and politeness. The old fashion way of thinking, that what goes around , comes around. If you do something nice for someone, they in turn will do something for someone else and eventually someone will do it to you.
Now it's only what can people do for me? I'm the only one that counts. There is no more thank you or I appreciate it. Instead it's, that's all, I taught there would be more?
With a simple phrase, "of what can I do for you"? Maybe we can eradicate this plague, that is sweeping this country.

Sunday, February 18, 2007


While I was perusing the Sunday paper, and no it wasn't the comics section, two articles struck my fancy. As diverse as the articles were, they both had a common theme. One was that Fox news was starting up a business channel, so as to present the corporations point of view, since they felt CNBC was biased and represented corporations and their heads in a bad light.
As for the second, a Boston university economics professor had a differing view of an article printed in the New York Times regarding retirement savings.
They both have the same agenda. Fox news in promoting their republican view of big business, and the professor improving sales on his software program.
Of late there seems no one to trust. Pundits, how can their views be trusted, since they are publishing one book after another and their statements increase book sales.
Professors and researchers selling out to corporations for their dollars, and basing their ideas and research to coincide with the highest bidders wants.
Newspapers and TV being biased toward one political party or the other, instead of remaining neutral and giving us an unbiased viewpoint.
My advice is to buy a a good pair of rubber boots with non-skid soles in case you step in all the bullshit flung around of late, as it is hard to avoid it.

Friday, February 16, 2007


Am I the only one to notice the epidemic of stupidity sweeping this nation. A 60 mile back up on a highway in Pennsylvania, during a big snowstorm. People running out of gas, water and of course no food. Now they are complaining, that no one told them about the conditions on the road. Look out the window moron, that could be a clue.
I am sure that there were a few exits in that 60 mile stretch, do you have to have someone explain what exit means.
Same thing happens during rain storms as idiots are rescued from the roof top of their cars in raging streams or flooded underpasses. Here is a tip, cars on road, BOATS on water
During the winter we are bombarded with go where it's warm, while in the summer hundreds of reporters make dramatic announcements to stay cool.
The great excuse of the 21st century, NOBODY TOLD ME. Then try something radical, it's called thinking and common sense.


The more labor and time saving devices we are provided with, the less free time we have. Instant meals that we pop into the microwave. Wrinkle free clothing, that no longer needs hours of ironing. We are not wasting time by sitting by the phone waiting for that important call, we have the cell phone.
Computers that are super fast, and can answer questions that would have taken hours. Drive-ups are everywhere and we save time by not parking and walking. We also save time by shopping on the computer. The list of these modern day wonders is endless.
Hours are saved each day, yet the lament of most people, I don't have the time to do it. So where has all this time gone?

Thursday, February 15, 2007


Urban rebounder, only $99.95 plus shipping and handling. Another magical workout contraption that works wonders, and it even comes with three DVDS. You can do a thousand exercises on it. And it is made out of the highest quality material. And in five minutes 398 other morons joined the list. And now a Slender tone Flex Abdominal Toning System only $119.95 and what a deal, free shipping and handling. This belt is doctor recommended, and studies at Wisconsin University found people who used it improved their abdominals by forty percent. How quickly people part with their money. The moron counter is spinning like a runaway stop watch on this item, since all you have to do is wear it and it does all the work. You can even drink wine with a friend as you both wear your belt. Where is my credit card and phone? Twenty minutes 1936 morons joined the list.
The one redeeming value of all the exercise contraptions is that they fit under the bed, and that is where they will stay after one or two uses.
Guess we have to change to old adage from, there is a sucker born every minute, to one every second.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


It seems we have experts in every field imaginable. They all seem to have the answers, for all the problems plaguing us, writing books and appearing on TV. THEN WHY DO WE CONTINUE TO HAVE ALL THESE PROBLEMS?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


Why do we let corporate America dictate to us how much to eat and the flavors we are supposed to enjoy. I for one do not appreciate going into establishments, that have homogenized menus and decors, whether you are in New York or San Francisco. The food is always the same sized portions as well as taste.
As a youth, you went to Fat Johnnies, Little Eddies and Tony's. Each and everyone had there distinct hot dog or hamburger. Never the same twice, a little more or less, but always good.. The portions were never weighed as they are in franchises.
The joy of going to the corner drug store and sitting at the soda fountain, and ordering a shake or malt and watching them make it from scratch, and serving it in a large glass, not some pimply faced kid sticking a paper cup under a spigot and filling it up with a god knows what creation, and calling it a shake.
Or those delis owned by a Mort or Eli, and watch them pile on that freshly sliced corned beef on real rye bread or kaiser roll, and enjoy it with a good cup of coffee or a cold draft beer. Not some processed stuff that neither looks or tastes like corned beef, and barely covering the bread, so as not to eat into corporate profits. Besides if you were a regular, the sandwich was always bigger, they appreciated your business and knew how to take care of their customers.
The list is endless, pizza parlors, drive ins and even those guys with the push carts.
No matter which franchise you go to, those crisp uniforms, plastic smiles and gimmicky corporate speeches you receive with each meal, will never replace the characters of old.
So for the price of a kiddie toy, that you receive with each happy meal, we are willing to deprive our kids of these fond memories.

Monday, February 12, 2007


I have drank a few cups of coffee in all my years. The gamut ranged from coffee that could be used to patch pot holes in the street, to what I considered nectar of the gods. This liquid I consumed came from vending machines, home percolators, greasy spoon restaurants and 50 gallon urns in military mess halls.
Then a north west (known as Seattle) phenomenon hit the Chicago area. It was called Starbucks. Naturally it was opening on the north side of Chicago, better known as yuppie ville. If you want something to become trendy, get a fancy name, overcharge for it, and the yuppies will flock to it like sheep.
Fearing that over exposure to these mindless wonders, might rub off on me, I tend to stick to the south side of the city.
Then one day, I was assigned to a job on the dreaded part of town. After completing the assignment, I drove past one of those yuppie shrines. Curious, I ventured in, and was in an instant state of confusion as I tried to decipher the menu board.
The place went dead silent as I placed my order. Later I learned that I had committed a mortal sin, by just ordering a small plain black coffee.
Inside the squad car, I sat back, ready to enjoy this delicacy. I took a sip, and luckily for me it was summertime and the window was open as the hand holding the cup flew through the window dumping the toxic liquid that momentarily touched my lips.
The only good thing that came of my excursion, was that I was able to warn unwary souls of the pitfalls that might befall them if they enter through those doors.
Only yuppies could afford those prices or understand those menus. Grande Latte you can keep it, just give me a good cup of coffee.

Sunday, February 11, 2007


I am not against technology, just the things it is doing to us. Digital cameras are a boon in that we can snap away to our hearts content, and we can capture images we had never dreamed of and the amount of photos countless.
In the film era, we had to wait several days for the film to be developed, and then the joy at the pictures that turned out and disappointment at the ones that didn't. Or the wonderment at what was on a undeveloped roll found in a drawer. But the best, was pulling out a dust covered album, which hadn't been touched in years and the flood of memories would race in of those special moments. Or as a scientific crime fighter, the relief of looking in a court file, and finding out the photos did indeed turn out and then watching the blood drain from the states attorneys face as he handed the photos to me and would ask," did you take these photos"?and always the stock answer, no, these photos turned out.
But the plethora of images that we are drowning ourselves in, we can not tell one special moment from another. That one photo that would bring back countless memories, lost in the maze of endless photos.
Every faux pas repeatedly viewed on You Tube or TV is no longer funny or entertaining, more of an annoyance.
What brought this on you may ask? I just happened to look in the closet and found several framed photos that my partner gave me at my retirement of different times during our years together on the police department. Each and everyone brought back memories, for they are unique in that I didn't have to think who, what, where and why; I knew exactly.

Friday, February 9, 2007


This is directed to all the staunch democrats, who would rather fall on the sword, and vote for a known moron, then switch allegiance and take a chance that sanity would return to the Cook County Board.
It's not a surprise, the antics he is pulling, since he was acting like a court jester, then a contender for a serious position. What an easy task precinct captains have knowing that like automated robots, he can get the people to vote a straight ticket, no matter who is on the ballot. If the devil himself, declared as a democrat, he would win by a landslide against a dreaded republican, no matter how good or qualified he/she was.
Like lemmings, that one button is pushed, no matter the consequences. And yet you laugh at the religious zealots that elected George W.
What is it about that word PRESIDENT, whether it be of the United States or Cook County Board, it makes people vote for the Clown.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007


Last year as we were returning from the farm, during a snowfall, we passed two troopers sitting side by side talking on a turnaround. Less then a half mile away a car was in a ditch, having driven off the road. My wife asked, why were they there, instead of assisting the motorist in distress?
I told her they were probably laughing, before they had to look serious and assist the fool.
Yesterday, I laughed a lot as I passed numerous vehicles while driving through a snowstorm, parked in the ditches to the sides of the highway.
I couldn't believe the morons who passed me in nearly white out conditions, doing their normal 75 or 80 mph, driving as if it were a summer day.
It's not the snow belt that has exclusive rights to this form of stupidity. How many times have we seen those multiple pile ups during fog, smoke or dust storms.
When those involved are questioned at the scene, they always seem to give the morons standard answer. I couldn't stop in time. A clue, if you were going a bit slower for conditions, may be you could have.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007


I was just wondering. How many hours a day, as babies, did Einstein and Mozart watch those videos, to get to where they did?


It seems when women burned their bras, they also burned their brains. They not only want equality in the realm of stupidity, they want eminent domain. A case in point the female astronaut. I guess that is were the term Space Cadet is derived from.

Monday, February 5, 2007


It was refreshing to read a story in today's Sun Times of a man who had an airplane ticket, ticket for the game and a place to stay, and decided to stay and assist in the delivery of his baby on Sunday. More astounding was his comment. "This is more important than any game". For the past few weeks we were force fed with the comments of idiots who considered this a life changing event and the greatest moment of their lives.
Who would you rather have as a father one that considered your birth as an event to cherish or one that had labor induced so he wouldn't miss the game. You will have to learn early to plan important events in your life, so that they won't interfere with a big game, if you chose the latter.

Saturday, February 3, 2007


Why are all the proponents of not raising the minimum wage, persons who happen to make six and seven figure salaries, and can't figure out why these people can't manage on $5.50 an hour?
I apologize. It just dawned on me, it's those burger flippers, who are pushing up those prices on yachts and ocean front property, with their lavish spending of year end bonuses.


If diet and lite products contain LESS, why do we pay MORE for them?


Why do we pay more for clothing, footwear, and other items embossed with company logos or names? By purchasing such items, aren't we endorsing those products, by wearing them, and acting as walking billboards? Then why do some receive millions for doing so, and we receive the pleasure of overpaying?


Why is it GREAT for business to pay a CEO, actor or athlete millions of dollars in compensation.
On the other hand it's BAD for business and the economy to raise the minimum wage.
The premise for the millions in compensation is that you have to pay to get the best.
Well, don't we want the best workers too? Aren't they the fodder that allows for all those millions?

Friday, February 2, 2007


It is sad to see that Americas savings rate, which was down 0.4 in 2005 and rising to minus 1.0 in 2006 relegated to a small column in the business section. According to the article only two other years did this happen in our history. This was during the depression years of 1932 and 34.
We have to have every bell and whistle that comes on the market, and we have to have it now. Whatever happened to "save a penny for a rainy day".
An idea on how to save, I taught worthwhile to pass along. Write down each and every purchase for several months, even items as small as a package of gum. Then look back and see how many you really didn't need. Then you will see how much you threw away and could have saved.

Thursday, February 1, 2007


I for one, am sick and tired of all the apologizing, and going into rehab to control outbursts of ones opinions. Whatever happened to FREE speech. No matter what anybody says now, there is someone that is offended. A new business is flourishing, professional apologizers who for a pricey sum, will consult you on how to apologize.
As the title goes GET OVER IT. Of all the supposed offensive things said in the past year, none were as bad as the media has made it. The comments were like snowballs rolling down the hill, the more they were talked about the bigger they got, suddenly it was an avalanche.


If you can't raise $100,000,000, no need to apply.
No wonder we can't find a decent candidate to run for president. That is the amount you have to raise, to even attempt to run for president. Even tho the next GREAT president may be in the wings, the old "you can grow up to be president" is dead and gone.