Wednesday, October 31, 2007

BRIDGES FOR SALE

According to an MSNBC poll, on who won the Democratic debates, the results as of this morning were Obama 30%, Clinton 20% and Biden 18%.

I will be busy this morning printing up deeds for bridges, as well as swamp land that I will have no problem selling. I have such as vast list of idiots to choose from, seeing the results of the poll.

The two leaders of this poll should have been partners on Dancing With The Stars, since they would have won hands down; as they danced around at every question posed to them. After listening to those two, I for one wouldn't buy a used car from either one, much less vote for them to be president.

So to those who voted for these two, please call 1-800-111-1111. Operators are standing by, you wouldn't want to miss out on the prime lots or bridges. There are so many of you, they will be going fast.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

LEMON ADE

My father always looked on the bright side of things, something I fail miserably at times. I loved his view on why he never attempted to go trough an intersection whenever the light turned yellow, and he would always stop. Why follow all that traffic, when I can be the first one when the light turns green, and I have a free and clear road ahead.

One day I was looking at my pay check stub, after I had worked quite a bit of overtime. I complained to him how much they had taken out in taxes. He quickly burst my bubble. Why are you looking at the part your paying out, you have no control of that, rather look at how much more you are making and bringing home.

Then one day he was stopped by a policeman for making an improper turn. I implored him to plead his case that this was the first time in the neighborhood and he did not see the sign. With the policeman standing there and waiting to see his license. He simply stated, look how many times I probably broke the law and never got caught. So now I did, and it's time to pay the piper. I am way ahead of the game. Not in those words exactly, but rather in his broken English sort of way. The policeman after looking at his license, didn't have the heart to give someone that wise and honest a ticket.

Then their was the time I was wondering why he was taking the same road home from work, when on the previous day it was quite congested. He simply explained, that many of the frustrated and impatient drivers would look for alternate routes and that they would be fill the other routes. Needless to say he was right as we sailed along on a traffic free street.

So no matter how many lemons fell into my father's life he always managed to make lemon ade out of it. If the rest of us managed to look at life trough his eyes, we would have a wonder full life indeed.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

HOW STUPID IS YOU

When I applied to join the Chicago Police Department, the first step in the process was to take a test. After passing the test, a list was posted of those who passed it. Then as needed, people were called, and after passing a physical, you would enter the academy.

This was done for years before I entered and a few years afterward. Then those who couldn't pass the test, began to file civil suits. Every excuse imaginable was used. And our judicial system, and I use the term loosely, always sided with the complainants. Not only were they allowed to join the police department, in most cases, monetary compensation was awarded.

In it's infinitive wisdom, the police department initiated a new system. They now gather all the applicants in a large auditorium. Then someone from the higher echelon of the department enters the rear of the room, and yells out "hey moron". Those that turn around, are ushered into a separate room; where their names are taken, and they are placed on the list. All others are sent home, having failed the test.

On today's news there was a story of a policeman whose approximately 500 DUI cases will probably be overturned. His transgression was to by pass many of the procedures used in processing these defendants, while affirming that he followed them. This was done, while having not one, but two States Attorneys as ride alongs watching him work.

Not only did the attorneys file a complaint, they did so two years ago. Why has it taken so long for the police brass to act? It's because so many of them entered the department under the moron system.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

WHEN WILL THIS INSANITY STOP???????

The damage parents are doing to kids these days is total insanity. We see every Christmas, at what lengths they will go, to purchase the latest fad to hit the market, so that the precious bundle of joy, will not be disappointed.

And so it goes with the latest craze, as parents are paying anywhere from several hundred to several thousand for concert tickets to Hannah Montana. And how many of these parents can really afford to pay those prices?

Take my word for it, a simple NO will work. They may hold their breath and stomp their feet. But they will grow up to be normal if you use it often enough.






Monday, October 22, 2007

WHO IS RUNNING THE ASYLUM??????

When will all this insanity stop or at least slow down? I am speaking of school authorities and their "Zero Tolerance". With each passing day you think that the pinnacle has been reached, only to find out that they are getting more outlandish. It seems common sense has been cast aside, to be replaced by sheer stupidity.

A student innocently packs a pairing knife with her lunch, to cut up items she was to consume at lunch. You would think she had a machete and was threatening the entire student body, as she is suspended from school.

Another passes an aspirin to a friend who is feeling ill. A dent in the drug war is made as she is treated as the head of a drug cartel and suspended.

Then on today's news a boy of about ten gets suspended for a crude drawing of someone holding a squirt gun. No signs of violence or dead bodies. Just a picture, drawn by school boys for ages.

Another story quickly followed the previous one. This one I could understand why they were suspended. It was a group of kindergarten kids who were playing Cops and Robbers. They made a serious mistake by choosing to use "Weapons of Mass Destruction". The weapons they chose to use were their FINGERS. Luckily no one was injured or killed from this hail of imaginary bullets flying around the playground. And many people wonder why the trend toward home schooling.





Sunday, October 14, 2007

LET THEM BE KIDS II

With Christmas fast approaching, kids are being told to start on their toy lists. Soon aunts and uncles, along with grandparents will be getting these lists.

In the past these wish lists were short and sweet. A doll, an inexpensive game, or a model plane to build. Now the lists need to be deciphered, with a thousand calls made to parents, so that the correct items are purchased. The prices of some of these toys exceed the military budgets of many countries.

Then the big day comes, as one expensive toy after another, with all the bells and whistles on it, are opened and cast into a huge waste pile; for many of these toys will only be touched to move them aside in search of others to play with. There is no interest in these toys after a few minutes, it was just to see how big the pile would be.

Then a tragedy occurs. One last present to open. It's from an old uncle or aunt living on a fixed income. The present is from the past, a small inexpensive, metal or wooden car or train. It was found in a trunk in the attic, or bought in a second hand store. Suddenly the child's eyes light up. It's a strange toy indeed. No bright colors, no lights and it doesn't make any noise at all. Last but not least, no batteries needed to propel this strange new toy.

Now it's the adults turn to be disappointed. Realizing the credit card bill will soon be in the mail and that toy laying in the pile will have to be paid for in instalments; while that simple toy gets all the undivided attention from all of the kids around.

Just watch the kids as they have fun with empty large boxes, or blankets draped over chairs. Let them float around in that magical land of let's pretend. Or would you rather have them in a zombie state as they sit and stare at a toy that robs them of all that is magical to be a child.

Give a child one of these new fan dangle toy that does a thousand and one things with a press of a button; and watch them get bored with it after a few minutes. But give them a simple large cardboard box, and they will play for days, or until it is finally destroyed from over use.

There is even a greater tragedy in all of this. By the time most of these kids reach five or six, they can rival Donald Trump with all the toys they have; that they don't play with.



Thursday, October 11, 2007

LET THEM BE KIDS

I had to watch my two granddaughters this past Tuesday, as my daughter had things to do that day. We conversed at how many mothers were shocked, that my daughter was letting her kids lead a normal childhood.

Mothers couldn't believe that the only organized activities that my four year old granddaughter participated in were a once a week dance class and an hour at the local library.The rest of the time was spent playing with her two year old sister.

It seems that your not a good parent these days, if your not enrolling your kid in a thousand and one organized activities from the day a child can walk. Mothers are driving the kids from one activity to the next. Organized sports started in seventh or eight grade when I was younger; now we even have races for kids that are crawling as mothers scream on the sidelines for their child to win.

Summers aren't for play anymore, as kids are sent off to specialized camps, to improve their skills. Not one camp, but rather dozens for whatever activity's they are in.

So it was a pleasure for me to watch kids at our annual Fall Frolic down on the farm. They were doing things that kids did in the past. That is running around and laughing. Chasing each other, letting their imaginations run wild. The only time their fun was ruined was when a parent interfered.

Pay close attention the next time your at your four or five year old baseball or basketball game. They are going to be the terrified ones standing around not knowing what to do. Your the one who will be yelling and screaming at him or her to run, catch, throw or shoot the ball. This is supposed to be fun for them, but is it, as they stand around like zombies.

Its amazing to see how much kids learn on their own, without parental or adult interference. And what a feeling of accomplishment on their part when they do. Look at your child's face the next time they learn do something new, and then tell you "I did this by myself'. Why are you so hell bent of depriving them of this joy?

Some of the best athletes did not come from forced organized activity's, but rather honed their skills as kids on play grounds, with other kids. Some times the trial and error method is the best teaching tool around.

So let them enjoy their childhoods. It's their turn, not your's.











Wednesday, October 3, 2007

WHAT ARE THE ODDS???????

I was watching CNBC when I caught a bit of a short commercial. It had to be about fifteen seconds or less.

I looked up when I heard a man say "your right, I DON'T need it". In bold letters on the screen it read "FEED THE PIG". The only word I could make out, was that it was presented by an organization with savings in its title; since it flashed so briefly on the screen. And the commercial was over.

What are the odds that this commercial will be repeated over and over again on main stream TV; until the morons who, I have to have it, no matter the cost, will have it ingrained in their minds, a penny saved, is a penny earned?

I suspect the odds are pretty high against it; since the idiots will look at each other and say "I don't get it. I can't blame them for their stupidity. A year or two ago, I went searching for some piggy banks for the grand kids. I went from the smallest to the largest stores in my quest. It was unbelievable the quizzical looks I received, when asking if they had any in stock.

The savings banks of the past have been relegated to the antique stores, as the credit card has now taken the spotlight.


Monday, October 1, 2007

WHERE ARE OUR PRIORITIES

On one side of the street thousands of fans attended the Cubs rally at Daley Plaza. Home made signs and banners galore. Their voices were loud and clear as they voiced their support for a sports team in the baseball playoffs.

While on the other side of the street, at the Cook County Building, the county board was meeting to discuss raising the sales tax by 2%. If this measure passed, we would be paying the highest sales tax in the nation at 11%.

As the reporter spoke of the proposed tax increase, not a person was seen or heard protesting against the increase.

So we can see where our priorities are. A few dreamers who comment on the blogs I follow, believe that the pendulum is turning. As I see it, it is stuck in the wrong position and rusting away from lack of activity of any sorts.