Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I HAVE SOLVED THE ENERGY PROBLEM

I have a solution that would not only solve the energy problem, but would also decrease the trade imbalance plaguing this nation. I may even be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, thanks to this brilliant plan.



All we have to do is convert our oil and natural gas guzzling autos and factories to use methane gas. Since there is an ever increasing number of mega hog and cattle farms, the supply would be plentiful and endless.



The genius of my plan, is that there will always be an abundant supply, as well as large quantities for export; since the USA has one of the largest methane reserves in the world.



And where is this reserve located, you may ask yourself. None other then Washington D.C. With all the shit they shovel each day, we would have a never ending supply. The best part of my plan is that every time there is a national election, the supplies would go up, and we could all get a rebate check as we sell this overabundance of shit to foreign nations, to power their economies.



And if world wide demand began to increase, we could fall back on our reserves, and utilize the same shit from our local, county and state legislators.



The plan also helps in protecting this planet. There would no longer be pollution from fossil fuels, and a way of disposing this over abundance of shit, that is now building up. The icing on the cake would be the joy you experience as you watch the big oil companies fall like dominoes each quarter, rather than reporting obscene profits.



Wednesday, February 20, 2008

BARACK OBAMA

I am a firm believer in the old adage. if it's to good to be true, it isn't. So when it comes to Barack Obama, I don't instinctivly fall on the sword, and blindly follow him.

I can understand, the millions who fall for his praise the lord and pass the collection plate rethoric. It's easy to get enthusiastic in a crowd, as hand clapping and chanting, drown out what is really said.

A million promises made, with no guarantees, that any will be fofilled. All these slogans, won't repair the economy, or end the war.

One question keeps bothering me, as I listen to him speak about cleaning up the old ways of doing buisness in Washington. The old ways have got to go, according to him. So why is it that these, merchants of menace, that he is going to sweep out of Washington, so hell bent on supporting him?

Could it be, that he is selling his soul to the devil, just to make his mark on history?

Friday, February 8, 2008

AM I CRAZY OR WHAT?????

I'm not one of those conspiracy nuts. I don't wrap myself in aluminum foil, so the governament can't get at my thoughts. Nor do I think the boogey man is lurking under my bed or in the closet to get me. Tho at times, I do talk back to those strange voices in my head.



But of late, I have begun to wonder and question, why is it that every time oil falls below $90 a barrel; and gasoline below $3 a gallon, we always seem to have a mysterious refinery fire, or incident to drive those prices back up.



Since big oil wouldn't do something like that, I guess I will slip into that designer jacket, that the men in white coats are holding up.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED

It’s bad enough that the mental midgets now being hired as police are given uniforms and guns; but now police departments have begun issuing them new toys to play with. Just as problems arise when kids are left unsupervised while they play, problems arise with the “new police” as they abuse these new toys. As a retired police officer I shudder at the thought that many departments issue these toys for all to enjoy without supervision or consequences.

Some of the abuse incidents hit the news, but many go unreported.

One of the toys I am referring to are the new taser guns. How these juvenile delinquents do love to use them. Someone I know was a recent recipient, of not one, but two bursts from this new toy. After reading the police report, I shook my head in disbelief.

Instead of an arrest being made and charges approved, these so called police officers should have been taken out to the shed, spanked, their uniforms taken away, and then told they could never play policeman again.

There were a total of four officers on the scene. If four of them couldn’t handle a simple domestic disturbance involving an average sized male; they have no business handling these new toys. They should not be in their possession. The taser only helps escalate a situation.

Even at our advanced ages, my partner Whitey and I could handle most situations in which these new toys have been used with common sense and verbal confusion. This new breed should be treated like the Barney Fifes they are; give them guns without bullets and tasers without batteries.

Friday, February 1, 2008

SUPER TUESDAY

A gentle reminder for those amongst us that are not the sharpest tacks on the bulletin board:

If you reside in a state that will be voting this coming tuesday; it will not be to determine who survives till next week on American Idol. Rather you will be determining who could possibly be the president of your country for the next four years.