Friday, February 3, 2012

WE NEED MORE JUDGES LIKE THIS

While perusing the local scandal sheet, which at one time used to be referred to as a newspaper, I came across an article that had my full attention. It appears an irate judge, with a set of balls the size of watermelons, sentenced a guy to two days of community service. The poor soul's transgression was failure to appear for jury duty. His penalty was to stand in front of the court house with a sign reading "I tried to get out of Jury Duty" to comply with the community service.

Wouldn't it be nice if this same judge could preside over the upcoming trial of a surfer who was arrested a few weeks ago, for surfing in Lake Michigan. Hopefully he would dismiss the charges against the surfer, and sentence the police that arrested this man, to walk up and down Michigan Avenue, carrying signs that read "We Are The Morons That Arrested The Surfer".

Maybe if the police were punished for their STUPIDITY once in a while, we wouldn't have so many of them making headlines that make me cringe...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

STUPID QUESTION OF THE DAY

The ever so unpopular Question Of The Day will be making an occasional appearance. Today's question is a bit winded, but it does need answering.

No matter the ailment or condition, we have a pill or liquid to alleviate the problem. Pills can take off weight or put it on, put you to sleep or keep you awake and alert for hours. A liquid to stop the runs, and a pill to start them. The drug companies can solve any problem as long as it proves profitable.

As the consumption of Stupid Pills increases,not only in the quantity taken, but the amount of people taking them, adding to the profit margins of the giant drug makers, we arrive to the question of the day. Are these startling facts, the reason drug makers are shying away from developing and introducing a Smart Pill, knowing that it would prove to be an unprofitable proposition?

Monday, January 30, 2012

THE 99%

I was going to make this the shortest post possible by describing them with just the use of my favorite word, "MORONS". It would have sufficed for many of us, but for those few that have a hard time understanding that word, I will try to describe them in detail.

We have a group of fools who believe that by waving a few signs around, sleeping outside in the inclement weather and ignoring proper hygiene; they will put fear into the hearts of those villainous 1%.

Integrity and values, something the other side doesn't have, is their biggest down fall. The Democrats and unions saw them as a giant voting block, and the minute they declared themselves neutral: they became a nuisance and the police were called in to practice their baton strokes on their vacuum filled heads

If they had an ounce of intelligence in all of their collective heads, they would have come to this old fool and I would have told them how to put fear into their faint hearts and watch the tears weld up in their eyes as they watched their fortunes shrink. And it could have been done from the comfort of their own homes.

It's called voting with your wallet. The minute people weren't waiting in line for days to get the latest gadget with a new bell or whistle on it. Cut their consumption of Lattes to one a week or none at all. Stopped paying outrages prices for a cocktail just because it had a fancy name in a fancy named restaurant. As soon as the villains realized that the money was staying in your pocket and not flowing into theirs, the 99% would be in the drivers seat, dictating the rules on how the game should be played.

So as long as people continue to dig themselves into deeper debt by buying more of what they don't need, the 1% will grow richer as the 99% grow poorer, and they have no one to blame but themselves.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

THE GREAT FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT

Facebook was a fun place to visit until what I call the Lemming mentality swamped most everyone in its wake. It started out innocently with the copy, paste and re-post if you believe in one thing or another. Then the pressure was slowly increased as these post's went from belief into a threat if you dont re-post it.

The herd then attempted to outdo one another with an avalanche of YouTube postings and the straw that broke this camel's back was the rash of Wall Photos that began to appear at an alarming rate. It wasn't enough to post one or two; this was an arms race to see who could post the most. To make matters worse the Lemmings began to share them, as the screen was soon covered with the same lame joke over and over again. There are only three places where these comments belong. 1. Cheap made in China plaques in souvenir shops. 2. On t-shirts. 3. In catalogs that clog your mail box.

Some, oh what the hell, all my posts and comments were weird and lame;but at least I put a little effort into trying to bring a smile on people's faces. It took a while but I finally realized why I lost a majority of my audience on my posts. I made the fatal mistake of having sentences that were longer then four or five words and even worse, more then two sentences strung together. In this texting age, by the time many people get to the third sentence, they have forgotten what was in the first two and have to go back to the beginning. Like a hamster on a wheel, they eventually get bored, and go to a post that doesn't tax their brain.

And how many people have to tell us TGIF? Surprise; I and many others know how to read a calender. We know weekends are short, but they become shorter as we are told how short they are.

There was a handful of fantastic people who knew how to play the game and I thank you. You helped bring a smile to my face. To the rest of you, wake up, get a life, and stop following the crowd over a cliff.













Sunday, June 5, 2011

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

Wouldn't it be nice if our elected officials spent as much time and energy trying to solve the problems we have been facing these past few years, as they do blowing off hot air in front of the TV cameras. We have a president who flies around the country giving promising campaign speeches instead of spending time in Washington trying to find a solutions. As for the members of congress, the Republicans blame the Democrats and the president for the fix were in. On the other hand the Democrats claim they inherited this mess. I guess it's a lot easier to blame someone else for the problem then to go out and find solutions......

Thursday, June 2, 2011

I'M BACK

I'm back to where I started, with all my bad grammar and punctuation that make my wife cringe. I enjoyed talking to the people I have known for some time, but greatly appreciate the new friends I have met through Face Book. It was nice to light a fuse and get some great feed back, but in the world of Face Book, frivolous and inane posts garnered the greatest response.

Now I can sit back and poke fun at the younger generation at length. Laugh at them as they think that they have discovered newer and better ways to do things; without a clue that us old farts have been there and done that many times over.

I will try to put a humorus twist on my out look on many of headlines of today and those of the past. I just hope some will visit and enjoy the musings of an old fart.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

MAY BE WE COULD LEARN FROM THE CANADIENS

A minor glitch occurred during the opening ceremonies for this years Winter Olympics. It appears one of the arms for the Olympic flame malfunctioned and caused a slight delay. So what do they do about it? Simple, they incorporate it into their closing ceremonies and made it a comedy routine. In other words, they were able to laugh it off, and poke a little fun at themselves.

Now if this incident had occurred in the United States, FOX, CNN and MSNBC news channels would be tripping over each other to see who would garner the most experts, to give their versions on how something like this could have occurred. Every person in the stadium would be interviewed, as to how their lives were dramatically damaged forever by this event. Lawyers would be scrambling to see who would be the first to file the thousands of lawsuits, that would be sure to follow.

Congress would try to calm a distraught nation by having hearings in both houses to access blame. The reverends Al and Jesse would work to find a racial aspect to the incident to get their few minutes of TV time. All the other made for TV reverends, would be telling us how God had caused the arm to malfunction, to punish the Olympics, for allowing gays to participate.

Thousands of books would be written as everyone from aliens to terrorists would be blamed for the few minutes delay. Conspiracy groups would claim government cover ups; forcing the president to call for an independent investigative body, all to squelch all the rumors that were spreading via the Internet.

Rush and Beck would be screaming at the top of their lungs blaming the president and the democratic party. While at the Huffington Post, the blame would be laid at the feet of Bush and Cheney, with claims that the malfunction was inherited from the previous administration.

The only thing good that would come out of all of this is that South Park would be able to air a few episodes of this disastrous situation.

I apologize to all the people that I omitted that would get their five minutes of fame, by making ludicrous claims, on why and how it happened.

Thank you Canada for showing us how adults handle minor calamities.