Monday, March 19, 2007

DEATH

I received this e-mail and I think it is worth passing on, for it is truly a sad but true obituary:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:Knowing when to come in out of the rain;Why the early bird gets the worm;Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,only worsened his condition.Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and planned to have a medical procedure.Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion;his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame,and I'm A Victim.Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.



6 comments:

La Sirena said...

Speaking of the death of common sense, read this scary article.

http://tinyurl.com/2rzg23

JoeC said...

la sirena: That article was incredibly scary...scarey enough to know they're probably thinking about empire, but really scare that they've conditioned most to not be surprised about it any more, to the point they can just talk about it openly.

Pete: Common sense needs to find a new name, because it's not so common anymore.

Pelmo said...

The scary part is how they toss a few electronic trinkets at the masses, and how quickly they gobble them up.Going into heavy debt, so that those empire builders can continue in their quest.

Pelmo said...

As for common sense, the witch hunts might come back as people who display some will be burned at the stake.

La Sirena said...

Where are you, Pelmo?

Jane said...

Poor pelmo's sick; but there's not a candle at his head...