THE END IS NEAR

It was bad enough that Chicago had to suffer all these years with the Rev. Jesse(I knows lots of big words) Jackson. Now a blaring headline in the Chicago Sun-Times has ruined my day, as the other blabbering idiot from New York ( Rev. Al Sharpton) is planning to set up shop here.

What have we done so bad here that we are going to have to endure this tag team of Reverends Al and Jesse?

HIGHWAYS NOT SPEEDWAYS

Traveling I-57 as I go to and from the farm I have made a few observations. One is that the majority of women drivers believe they are named Danica Patrick and that the vehicles they are driving are Indy cars.

Just a word of advice to these drivers about those speed limit signs that are posted along the roadside, you know the ones I mean, they have 65/55 MPH marked on them. Well, the top number is for vehicles and the lower one for trucks; it is not the total sum when you add them up, as most women seem to think.

At one time when I was younger I enjoyed the compliments I received from women about my rear end. Now, however, I am older so please stop drafting, and stay away from my back bumper. Besides I am married, and don't want to be introduced to you, no matter how cute you are. Even if I have to stop fast in an emergency, I want you to resist my rear end.

No matter your age, young, old or in between, it seems you all subscribe to the pedal to the metal theory. Please remember they are called highways and not speedways for a reason.

And, when you decide to cut back into the right lane, give it a few car lengths before you do; some of us are not professional drivers like you.

A SIMPLE SOLUTION

I figured out a simple solution on electing our next president. Who ever collects the most money wins. They sell their souls out to the highest bidders anyway, let the corporates spend a few more dollars to get who they want. No more debates as candidates lie through their teeth. All the money saved by not having conventions and since a lot of the delegates are either elected officials or have government jobs, they would be doing what they are payed to do.

A lot of fuel would be saved since the candidates would not be crossing the country attempting to garner votes. No more worries about electronic voting and no need for cutting down more trees to have a paper trail.

On election day, all the money is counted and a winner is declared. Then the best part of this solution. We then take these untold millions of dollars and put it to good use by turning it over to charity or to improve our schools and teachers salaries.

DOG FIGHT

I can imagine what World War II dog fights must have been like, since I am treated to them every weekend as the hummingbird's put on a daily non stop aerial show from morning till night, at a place I call home in Central Illinois.

I have three feeders for these tiny creatures, who awaken me each morning with their flapping wings as they feed outside my bedroom patio doors. It's impossible to count them as they put on that acrobatic show. I was always amazed at how they could speed around without knocking into one another, until this past weekend when the impossible happened and two of them had a mid air collision.

I was walking from the deck on the pond to the house and witnessed this catastrophe. The many years of experience as a police officer took over as I rushed to assist these two dazed combatants as they lay on the ground motionless.

Mustering up all of my medical knowledge I placed them in the palm of my hand and administered first aid, even tho my resources were slim to none. For the next fifteen minutes I was enthralled at giving aid and comfort to these to tiny birds.

Seeing their eyes lids flicker, I knew my attempts were not futile and that my
hard work was paying off. To my delight one of the birds regained his strength and flew off. My worries about the second one soon disappeared and he to was back in combat.

If my friend Dennis, from the days on the police department would have witnessed this, and he being a Sargent, I am sure he would have quickly submitted my name for a life saving award. But knowing him like I do, he would have gone beyond that and would have pursued a Department Commendation, and maybe just maybe a Medal of Valor.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

I just don't understand this Harry Potter craze. I never saw guys sitting outside drug stores awaiting the arrival of the latest issue of Playboy when I was younger.

I do believe, however, that Playboy is a greater literary achievement then the Potter series; since it has something to please every-one's taste. There are colorful photos for the illiterate; stimulating articles for the inquisitive mind and short stories for those who love to read, yet have little time for it. Last but not least, there are cartoons to tickle the funny bone of everone. I really could understand anticipating the arrival of this fine literary creation.

ENOUGH

Even here, as I drive these corn or soybean lined roads, the ugly signs sprout from the ground by the dozens. Not one or two, but a dozen or so in a row, as if one weren't enough to convey the message. All of them displaying the same message.

Wrigley Field, once a pristine mecca is peppered with ugly advertisements of one sort or another. Golfers and tennis players are beginning to resemble NASCAR drivers and their vehicles, as shirts and hats sport more logos with each additional tournament.

Each walk, strikeout, hit or homer is sponsored by someone. As a matter of fact just about any action on the field is brought to you by one company or another. Not to mention the regular commercial breaks which now run into the ballgame as they get longer and longer.

Reading a newspaper becomes an adventure as you have to hunt for articles amongst all the advertisements. TV programs grow shorter and the commercials longer, as you lose track of the story for all the commercial breaks.

Lets not even talk about our mail as the carriers fall by the wayside with injuries from carrying all that junk mail they stuff our mail boxes with. Not to mention how many trees sacrificed there lives for said junk.

Billboards and neon signs blind us with there massive paper and electronic displays. Why not boycott the worst violators and no longer purchase their products? Then, maybe just maybe, we can go back to a more tranquil visual and audio society.

THE McMANSION CROWD

The McMansion crowd swooped down and destroyed what would be a pleasant weekend at the sand dunes of Lake Michigan. What once was a great summer getaway, is now something to avoid.

Pristine lake front property was once dotted with quaint and unique family cottages. Even tho the crowds increased during the summer, it was quite manageable. It was a pleasure to listen to the waves crashing into the shoreline and to walk around exploring the small shops and restaurants and enjoy a quiet drink overlooking the lake.

There have always had bigger homes in the area, but they blended in quite nicely and were not an eyesore. Suddenly grotesque condos and mine is bigger then yours homes blocked out the view of the lake. The noise level grew, and the crowds increased. A landmark restaurant closed only to be reopened as a sports bar. Small lake side bars, driven out by the ever expanding marinas.

Small family owned restaurants driven out by the franchises. Old structures torn down, to be replaced with new structures, made to look old.

People would drive a hundred miles and more to get away from all noise and congestion of the city, to enjoy the piece and quiet. Now they make the same drive, to get more of the same. Why do we allow this crowd to take over everything that we enjoy?

A FOOL AND HIS MONEY PART II

No longer am I angry at the growing disparity between the rich and poor in this country. This is a self inflicted wound that keeps growing bigger yet the poor have no one to blame but themselves.

A financial page article in today's Chicago Tribune has left me shaking my head and asking the question, How Stupid is You? The headline read: Bank overdraft fees total $17.5 billion. Boys and girls that is not a typographical error that is a B not an M.

People magazine's readership far outnumber that of any financial magazine. People now know more about the lives of personalities such as movie stars and pro athletes then they do of their own personal finances. We are making others rich with high credit card debt and usury-like fines. We get taken to the cleaners, as others clean up.

Not a peep is heard from the public as banks manipulate deposits, and enter checks out of order to ensure these fees keep going higher. It is more important to know up to the minute stats on your favorite ball players, and the blunders of Hollywood personalities, then what is happening to the few dollars you have.

We are told to wait until this next election, we are going to get rid of those money grubbing Republicans. The Democrats are going to tax the rich and make them pay their share. Things will get a whole lot better.

The question should be for whom? Surely it won't be for you.

A FOOL AND HIS MONEY

I was listening to a radio show the other day and listened to a man talking about the new Iphone. I was shocked to learn that this new gadget has a battery life of about a year. It was bad enough that people paid $500 for it, but Apple found a gold mine in that the battery will cost $80 to replace. Not only that, it can only be done at the factory by a trained technician.
So now shipping charges are also added to the cost. So the old adage is true, A FOOL AND HIS MONEY ARE SOON PARTED.

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

I yearn for the good old days when common sense prevailed. Back in the dark ages of my youth we did not need heat advisory warnings on TV, radio, or news print to tell us it was hot and what we should do to stay cool. We could tell it was hot just by going out doors and sweating. A simple thing like opening the windows and a fan or two sufficed. Evenings were spent outdoors, as people gathered on front porches and talked and the kids enjoyed the freedom of running around outside, as the house cooled down and it was bearable to go inside. We didn't have to be told to drink liquids. When we were thirsty we drank something to quench that thirst.

Now it seems no one can do anything without someone, somewhere telling us what to do and how to do it. Grocery stores shelves are emptied as a snow advisory goes into effect. I never went hungry with each snow fall, as there was always plenty of food around the house, no matter how much snow fell. Or being told to dress warm on a sub zero day.

After a rain storm, one would drive a few blocks out of the way and avoid that flooded viaduct and arrive at a destination safe and sound. Now we have to be told to avoid them, and only a few pay heed, as we see stories of people being rescued from cars almost on a daily basis.

Thinking has become passe, as the "nobody told me" seems to be the phrase of the day.

STUPID QUESTION OF THE DAY

Every time there is an awards ceremony, and there seems to be one every week from Hollywood to Broadway and in between. The one thing they all have in common is that the presenters are given gift bags worth thousands of dollars.

Would it not make more sense to hand out these bags randomly at various venues such as movies and concerts to the people who spend their hard earned money to make these people outrageously rich? Just a little thank you for the support.