Saturday, January 31, 2009


Boys and girls I know you won't believe me, but in the not too long ago past, there was intelligent life on earth. Go ahead and shake your heads in disbelief; but it is true. For my wife, who likes to contradict everything I say, with her over used statement of "site your source", I have plenty of fodder for this one.

Back in the early 70's when I was a snot nosed rookie policeman, I worked for some of the greatest watch commanders imaginable. There would be a moron or two scattered about, but the majority used their heads for something besides a hat rack.

By the time I had a few hash marks on my sleeve, a new trend emerged. The morons who were once the minority, seemed to be gaining ground as the old guard, with balls the size of watermelons, retired or died off.

Where's your proof you may ask? All you have to do is look at a previous post about a 14 year old police wanna be. If this incident occurred back in the 70's, the watch commander would have booted the lad in the ass, had us call his mother, and after a profanity laced tirade about what a terrible mother she was; would have sent the lad home with her.

The next day, roll call would again be filled with wild profanity, as we found out where the captain thought our intelligence level stood. By the end of the day the incident would have been forgotten. Case closed and filed away with the thousands of other stupid things that would occur on an almost daily basis. Something to laugh about at watch parties that occurred every three months, after a few cocktails.

Fast forward to the year 2009. The 14 year old trick or treater is arrested as a police impersonator, and given the status of an Al Capone. It became a major news story for a week in both Chicago papers as well as the news stations. Now even the Secret Service is being brought in to check this "BREACH OF SECURITY". The police superintendent feels that the department "DODGED A BULLET". Of course then we always have to have that "INTERNAL INVESTIGATION" to lay blame on someone and suspend them. And where would we be if one of the moron's on the city council didn't call for "HEARINGS" on this dastardly act.

With each passing day we see so many non-stories reach epic proportions; and you wonder why I question if there is any intelligent life left?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


The younger generation was laughing at their parents and grandparents, when they stuffed their meager savings in mattresses, coffee cans or received a free toaster for depositing their money at a small local bank with low interest rates.

Why do something so stupid, when there were so many financial advisers and large banks that offered double digit returns, if you invested with them? Why work like your parent's did into their sixty's, when those fancy brochures promised that you would be able to retire by the time you reached thirty-five? Your parents and grandparents would only live comfortably on their paltry savings, while you would be cruising around your luxury yacht, skiing and vacationing in exotic locales. You would have as many homes as they had rooms in their modest bungalow, that they had lived in most of their life.

Who is laughing now, as a day doesn't go by, that we don't here of another one of these advisers that had scammed hundreds of thousands of investors out of every penny they had invested. Even if you managed to avoid the con artists, you still saw the bottom drop out of the hundreds of other investment gimmicks dreamed up by all these financial guru's.

So forgive them when they laugh, while they are at their bingo games. They are secure in knowing they can easily withdraw any amount, at any time, from their mattress. You on the other hand can't figure out if you should laugh or cry while holding all those worthless statements, filled with untold promises, in your hand.

Monday, January 26, 2009


The times I visited my friend Fozzy at the police district he worked at, I was always tempted to ask all those so called police men and woman if their mothers knew that they were dressed up and playing like the "real police".

According to today's news media, I guess I should have. It appears that a 14 year old police wanna-be, dressed up in a police uniform and walked into a police district, managed to sign out a ticket book, walkie- talkie, etc. and fooled a veteran policeman for five hours while they drove around and answered calls.

I pulled many a young looking officer's chain as I threatened to take them home to their mommies when we worked midnights because it was after curfew. Now it seems they just assign them a car and let them work with no questions asked.

If the lad would have somehow obtained a badge, he could have pulled this off for the next 30 years! The only thing that gave him away was that missing badge.

I know I am going to go to sleep tonight feeling a lot safer.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


I didn't think that I would ever yearn for our print and electronic news media to return to the days when the infamous trio's every high jink was a breaking news event. A serious contender has ensured that the Three Musketeers antics are buried away for a minimum of the next four years.

Your soon to be the President of the United States, wants his Blackberry like some two year old who needs his blankie. If the Secret Service says no to your possessing a BlackBerry, so be it. Stop worrying about some silly electronic gadget and get down to more serious issues.

And you might ask, what got my dander up today? It was a lengthy story about the retrieval by the Secret Service of the president-elects BlackBerry when it hit the airport's tarmac while emerging from his vehicle. Because of this heroic action the instrument suffered no ill effects and continues to perform its functions.

If however, a mysterious demise befell this BlackBerry during the mass hysteria and confusion as it lay unguarded on the tarmac; I would then truly consider the Secret Service an elite law enforcement agency.

In those few seconds they could have eliminated all the arguing over a grown man's toy. More importantly, we could return to another asinine story about the unholy trio.


Sunday, January 11, 2009


It is amazing how easily we are duped into believing all the garbage that flows out of Washington. Very few of us sit back and realize that our chains are being pulled and that all those speeches and promises are only meant for the chosen few and not for the masses at large.

At the beginning of this financial crisis, billions of dollars were thrown in haste toward millionaire CEO's. What we were fed was the danger of allowing credit to dry up. They were right; credit drying up did further hurt the economy - and they let it - using the bailout instead to continue the flow to their outrageous salaries! All those billions were thrown away and nothing changed, except that the rich got richer.

Even more amazing was how these supposed brilliant minds, failed to attach a few strings; not even a portion of the the rigorous reporting and auditing structure required of social agencies who are given only a few thousand dollars. The promise not to waste this money was completely forgotten, and never really in the cards. As for the rest of us, the lip service and promises continue while nothing is done about it, and many people are suffering losses through no fault of their own.

And so it goes with many praising the new stimulus package. Let us hope it is so. Yet it still seems to be only a stimulus package for some; and is it for those that really need it? Makes perfect sense to lay off workers by the thousands now, when you know the new president is promising to give you thousands in tax breaks for hiring new workers once he is sworn in. Is this just another creative way they find to funnel our tax dollars to those who don't need any more?

As someone who has been around for a while let me tell you; in all my years the bullshit and promises made, usually greatly outweigh the truth and promises kept.

Thursday, January 1, 2009


Why is it when loans were made by No Neck Vito, Joe Bananas and Three Fingered Louie no expenses were spared to arrest and prosecute these entrepreneur's? Both local and federal authorities worked hard to abolish these local business men as they were considered the scourge of the community. Legislators worked round the clock to drive them out of business by enacting criminal laws to hasten their demise.

Skip ahead and change all those colorful names to bland ones such as Visa, Master Card and Discovery and suddenly those usurious rates become legal, and the lenders are pillars of our society. Now it is fashionable for our politicians to mingle with these lenders and to pass legislation to increase already out of control percentages and fees, in order to increase those almighty profits. There are many more with other acceptable names such as pay day loans, title loans and let's not forget H&R Block, who keeps dreaming up new ways to shrink people's tax returns.

Today's lenders are able to take an arm and leg in penalties and fees whenever you're late; not like the past when just a lump or two on the head sufficed.

Maybe it's time we brought Vito, Joe and Louie out of retirement. But alas we can't, since they are all either in jail or deceased. I guess that is the penalty you pay when you charge fair and reasonable rates with no excessive fees.